Glory in my Weakness

Many of you know that I have a chronic illness, and I know many of you are battling your own chronic illnesses. Many of you have battled or are battling cancer or another type of illness or infirmity. Some of us have lost family or friends to devastating illness, that seemed so unfair, especially if the one suffering was a follower of Jesus. Illness is everywhere, a symptom of the brokenness of this world; a result of the curse in Genesis. Often, this reality can feel at odds with Scripture, where we see Jesus heal people and raise them from the dead, or when we read the scriptures that speak of healing. For many of us, when we read these things, it can be hard to understand why Christians, those who call Jesus Lord and Savior, have to suffer.

I began thinking about this while watching or re-watching, more accurately, an episode of 'The Chosen' not very long ago. The particular scene that got me reflecting on this pertained to the character "little James" or James the Lesser. For those who don't watch the show, let me give you a little background that will help you understand the context of the scene I am about to share. In 'The Chosen,' Little James is depicted as having a limp and needing a walking stick. Often, he struggled to keep pace with the others. So, when Jesus told the disciples, including little James, that they had the power to heal others and Jesus sent them out to do that, James had questions, like the very obvious "Why haven't you healed me?"

Jesus responded to James' obvious and straightforward question with a straightforward question of His own, "Do you want to be healed?" Naturally, James said yes—who wouldn't want healing?

So, did Jesus heal James in this scene? No, in this moment, "The Chosen" chose to go a different direction. Instead of healing Little James, the writers chose to minister to people who struggle, those of us who often grapple with illness, pain, or psychological challenges that make life difficult, different, and even at times discouraging—experiences only those who bear similar burdens can truly understand. Instead of healing James, the writers chose to help us better understand the life we have been called to. So, what did Jesus say to little James? Jesus told him, "I trust you.”

Maybe that response has you surprised; maybe it has you confused. Why would Jesus choose not to heal James because He trusted him? How does that even make sense? If Jesus trusted James, shouldn’t He have healed him as a reward? These are understandable thoughts and questions that no one can be blamed for having, which is why the writers didn't stop there.

Jesus continued to explain further. He tells James that, according to the Father's will, He could indeed heal him, and as a result, James would have a remarkable story to share. James, of course, agrees. Then comes the part that reaffirms something I had already come to believe through my study of the Bible, particularly the writings of the Apostle Paul. He tells James to think about the story he already has to share, one where he chooses to follow Jesus, without healing. One where he is able to show how faith is so much more than what is happening in our bodies, because he is able to proclaim the goodness of God the Father, even as he suffers. That James can be patient with suffering here on earth because he knows one day, and for all eternity, there will be no more suffering, is a testimony in itself. Let that sink in.

Here on earth, we encounter pain and suffering, sickness and disease. Some prayers seem unanswered, along with injustices and various forms of brokenness. But what if the reason God hasn't healed you or removed you from suffering yet isn’t punishment? What if it is not merely a matter of you needing to pray or believe harder? What if you haven't been healed or that situation hasn't been resolved because God trusts you? What if the God who formed you in your mother's womb and knows you more intimately than anyone else has allowed these experiences in your life so that you can be an example to others who are suffering, both Christians and non-Christians alike? What if you were chosen to share this difficult testimony because God knew you would worship Him regardless and you wouldn't turn away or let your heart grow cold? What if what seems like a weakness or disadvantage by the standards of the world is really the strength of God sustaining you in the midst of your suffering?

In the book of Zechariah, the prophet of old shares this from a vision he had,

Zechariah 4:6

Then he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.

This verse teaches us that God’s work is not accomplished through human strength or resources (that would be the “might” or “power”) but through the enabling presence of God’s Holy Spirit, given in this passage to Zerubbabel during the rebuilding of the temple.

Do you see the connection? When we do the hard thing, when we choose the will of God over our circumstances, over our comfort, over our understanding and rest on His power, on His Spirit, His grace, and His promises, God is glorified through us. This is why the Apostle Paul could say this, referring to the thorn in his own flesh, whatever it was:

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

And while Paul was in prison, he also wrote this:

Philippians 4:11-13

11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I am, to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

And there's Romans 8:18, which says:

Romans 8:18

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Paul could say these things because he knew the secret of suffering and enduring with patience and humility. He could write these things because he had suffered in numerous ways and was suffering, but knew the truth. He knew that what we experience on earth is only temporary; one day it will all fade away, and we will be in eternity with Jesus. We will have new perfect bodies and never cry again. We will stand in the presence of God Most High and see Him face to face, and we will never suffer again. We just need to endure, and God gives us that strength through the Holy Spirit.

I know this because when I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I was devastated. I thought my life was over. I felt like a miserable failure, afterall what kind of mother can't hold her own infant? Oftentimes, I would call my dad or mom and beg for one of them to come over and help me with Jack because I was in so much pain that I couldn't get out of bed. Sometimes, I would go to pick something up, not even something super heavy; I'm talking about like my diaper bag or a gallon of milk, and I couldn't do it. I had no strength, and for someone who used to fight and wrestle with the boys, and who had prided themselves on their physical strength for a girl, this was an emotional blow that would literally cause me to crumble to the floor and cry out to God. "WHY? Why are you letting this happen to me?!"

After some time, God answered me through the words of Paul. He directed me to the passage from 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, which really resonated with me. I can't remember now whether I encountered it first in a sermon, a devotional, or during my daily reading; I’ve absorbed so much on this particular topic that at this point, years later, it all blends together. What I do know is that Paul has valuable insights on serving the Lord through our suffering, and once I was made familiar with that passage, I felt compelled to read more of his writings. While doing so, I discovered several verses that were particularly encouraging for me. So, I copied these verses onto sticky notes and placed them around my house and even in my car to remind myself and help retrain my thinking about my circumstances.

One of those verses is what I to this day call my anchor verse. The verse or the promise I come back to frequently, that helps to keep me anchored in the Lord. That verse is Romans 8:28.

Romans 8:28

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

When I share this verse with others, I will often emphasize the -all things- portion of this scripture because, as I heard another Pastor explain it, all things here in the Greek means all things. God can use all things: your illness, your struggle, your failures, your successes, your triumphs. The little things and the big things. God can use it all for good, for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

So what was the good in my situation with a chronic illness? Instead of getting angry and bitter, and instead of giving up and going on disability to check out of life and society, I chose to embrace God and find joy amid pain. Today, when people say they are going to pray for my healing, I ask them not to. Like Little James, I know that God can heal, and I believe that with all my heart. However, I have gained more through my illness than I would have gained from being healthy. I have learned to accept help from others, to let them love me, and to be less independent and more community-minded. I have also learned to take things slower and that it's okay to say, "I can't do that." I have learned to lean on God and others that in my health I never would have allowed myself to. So, like Paul, I now glory in my weakness, because through it the strength of God is shown and on full display, because it is not by my might or my strength, but His.

Before we move forward and close today's sermon, let's take a moment to recap. When we or someone we love is suffering from an illness, and God doesn't bring healing in the time or manner we desire, it doesn't have to imply punishment or a lack of love on God's part. Instead, it can mean that God understands we would choose Him regardless of our circumstances. So, He chooses to be our strength in times of weakness and our comfort in distress. Through our struggles, He demonstrates His strength as He sustains us and builds our character, even when faced with challenges that could break others. This is the good, because we can then set the example for others. Our testimony of endurance with cheer builds up other believers' faith and can cause a non-believer to turn to Christ. This is not for our own glory, but for His.

So, some thoughts to take home with you: like Paul, can you be content in all circumstances? Can you find joy in the Lord even when your body betrays you? Can you encourage and inspire others with a steadfast witness to the goodness of God, even when others might turn bitter and angry? It's easy to follow God when things are good, when prayers are answered, and things go your way, but can you live as a testimony that says God is good, even when everything isn't?